Rocket Scientist

The first person I saw do this little charming exercise was Wurdzgirl , but many have pursued this with, in my opinion, amazing revelations and introspection.  The key is, apparently, to forgo the normal New Years Resolutions on correcting particular vices and make the opportunity to address the underlying issues, those character flaws or areas of improvement that you need to change to help you become the person you want to be.  My interpretations of this would be that you’d not only improve yourself in a more definitive permanent way, grow in fact, but also address some of those vices in an incidental way.

So, I was thinking.  It wasn’t that long ago that I was truly struggling with some significant issues, that I was addressing a depression that left me feeling helpless and option-free.  But I’ve been away from there for some time.  But I’m still letting what I couldn’t do then and what I can’t do now still stress me.  Not send me over the edge, but stress me.  But there’s a great deal I can do and do do.  I need to appreciate what I can do and find comfort in that.

I’m a somewhat driven person.  Self-starting is generally not an issue for me; I always have more irons in the fire than I have time to work and I drive myself crazy sometimes trying to juggle them all.  The downside is, though many of these are pleasant pastimes for me, I’m not taking the time to enjoy them.  I’m too busy rushing.  But I don’t have to do everything.  I don’t have to do it all.  There’s plenty of time to do the things I enjoy if I take a little more leisurely trip, and appreciate those things I love to do.

I sometimes feel like the oldest person I know.  In many ways, I never was a kid, a child.  I never really learned to “play.”  My husband is younger.  My daughter is a teenager.  My son is precocious.  And I have a baby.  I’m a graybeard next to them all.  But all of them, largely because of the efforts of my husband and myself, know how to play and play hard.  And, if I take the time to enjoy them, to hang with them, I not only get to spend time with the people that mean the most to me, with the last baby I’ll ever have, I get a lesson in playing like I’ve never had.  I have a beautiful, unique and entertaining family and I need to appreciate that time I have with them.

Life is beautiful and I have a full one.  Next year, I’m going to take the time, give myself a break from the overdrive, and appreciate it in ways I’ve been forgetting to.  After all, we all are here for a limited time.  No sense not enjoying the time I have.

My word for 2009 is appreciate.

What do you want from your 2009?

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