Dec 10 2008
Ask Alex (the master of hedonism) - Episode 1
What an opportunity!
Once again, I’m stealing stuff I dropped on JD’s blog (Hey, steal your comments and make your blog entries. I’ve started a trend - now go with it! Impress your friends with the cleverness you’ve stolen from yourself!) Where was I? Right! She was extolling the virtues of cereal marshmallows and I mentioned that my son loved them too.
Now, I’m sure many of you have remarkable children. But no one, and I mean no one, has a son like Alex. Not a better son, just one of a kind. Alex is a pure hedonist to a level most people just fantasize out.
For instance, we have finally broken Alex of the habit of pouring out entirely boxes of cereal on the floor and picking out just the marshmallows (36 hours and no mistakes!). Before someone has a conniption at the notion of my son eating food off the floor, let me tell you two things. (1) Alex has eaten off every surface in the house (including, possibly, the ceiling) AND outside - you can’t stop him; we’ve tried. For two years (until age 2.5) everything we gave him was automatically dumped on the floor before consumption (which is why we stopped giving him soup) no matter what we did to prevent it. Apparently, he believed floor added an certain something, spicewise, that he could not obtain otherwise. (2) He is also the healthiest child I’ve ever known, bar none. He has had 2 colds in all his life, has broken nothing or had to be taken to the hospital, despite the fact he’s also a climber, jumper, chewer of all things dangerous, etc. (Yes, this grey hair is directly attributable to him). And he gets away with darn near everything because he’s resourceful, mind-bogglingly cute, and impossible to reason with.
And that’s Alex’ key. Everything is geared to his pleasure. He doesn’t eat anything he doesn’t want to. He either steals food he wants or waits us out, dimples winking, until he gets what he wants. He goes where he wants. Does what he wants. Plays with what he wants. He doesn’t talk because then people would expect him to answer and you can’t be a real hedonist if you’re listening to people.
So, have you ever wanted to do whatever you wanted? Play in a dryer? Sleep in a hammock? Watch movies on a wall-sized TV while others work around you? Ever wanted to be healthy despite the odds? Or be so cute you could get away with anything? Well, I’m going to channel my irksome, I mean, precocious child and give you the chance you may not know you need. Ask Alex absolutely anything! Learn from the master of self-indulgence! On a budget!
(If there’s a lot of response, I’ll make this regular feature)
Sounds like a husband.
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Dear Alex:
Where did mommy hide the goodies?
He certainly is cute enough to get away with anything! What a heart-breaker-in-the-making. More! More!
Davida
Your son is exactly why I stayed in early childhood education for over two decades
I couldn’t help but admire and fall in love with all the toddlers and preschoolers …
They are so totally into the pleasure of the moment!
Dear Alex,
My daughter keeps licking the glass cases at the deli, I have become accustomed to this and since she has not been sick either I have accepted it as part of her charm. The problem is it freaks out all the mom and grandma shoppers there who try to shame both her and me. What can I tell them to leave her alone so she can lick hedonistically?
Jen
Dear Alex-
Are you a dare devil? How do you manage with no broken limbs? I have two daughters that aren’t and each has broke something. I have one son that sounds just like you and am wondering what I have to look forward to when he’s older.