Rocket Scientist

My husband read this to me yesterday and I couldn’t believe it was true, that any legitimate organization would be this whacked. PETA, that’s People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, sent a letter to Ben and Jerry recommending that they switch from cow’s milk to breast milk for their ice cream. *Slam’s head on desk* Well, it’s there. It exists (as noted by the link which goes to their own damn site).

Now, let’s be clear. I have cats (and have fostered kittens for the local shelter). I love animals and would never advocate mistreatment. I care about animals and don’t like to see them misused, whether the eventual intent is for food or other use, whether in the wild or in one’s home. I’m concerned about the loss of many endangered species and grieve that whale populations and other wild species are at risk because of man’s activities.

I am omnivorous because (a) I like meat and dairy and (b) I think that’s what we are designed to eat. However, I have a vegan sister (and her family) and feel no urge to reform them. Fortunately, she does me the same favor. By all means, be vegetarian/vegan if you choose. More power to you, whether for ethical or health reasons. But I’ve seen what happens to panda’s on their inappropriate diet. For me, I’ll stick with the full gamut.

But, first of all, I don’t see what the big trouble is with milk. I’m a big milk drinker and yes, some people are genetically intolerant of cow’s milk. Others, like apparently myself, have a particular mutation that makes milk readily digested. As it is an excellent source of all kinds of nutrition, I’m all for drinking milk if you can do so comfortably. I don’t advocate it as a substitute for mother’s milk, but I have raised three children on milk-based formula because of an inability to nurse and they’ve all turned out well.

But how is cutting out the milk in Ben and Jerry’s (which is more likely cream, actually) going to help cows? Do you think losing the few thousands of gallons of milk B&J is using is going to make or break the dairy industry? They probably lose that much in shrinkage daily.

Here’s their reasoning:

• Breast milk is better for people than cow’s milk. Actually, breast milk is better for babies than whole milk. Breast milk is formulated for something that will double it’s weight a few times. Most of us don’t want to do that. And who eats ice cream for the health benefit?

• Cow’s milk has been associated with allergies (true), juvenile diabetes and obesity. Even if I were convinced this is true (I’m not for various reasons. And don’t they have a better source than Dr. Spock on this topic?), this is ice cream. You don’t eat ice cream to cure obesity or treat diabetes

• Cows would be grateful because they only give milk when they’re pregnant or have just given birth. They are “forcefully impregnated every nine months”. Uh, guys, Wikipedia says it’s a year or more (and I’d like some proof cows wouldn’t do the same themselves if the opportunity presented itself. Check feral cats.). And artificial insemination should not be confused with “raping cows.” Of course, anyone who’s raised dairy cattle of any kind realize that if you really want to make a cow miserable, you could stop milking her.

• “After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.” Again, I don’t think this reflects the majority of dairy farms. As for using their bodies for food, I wish my body could be put to so much use after I’m dead. Providing extra milk does not cause damage to them. I don’t understand the issue here. Attrition is high among dairy cattle and culling is common if they stop being economical. And, as with most types of cattle, animals no longer useful are generally slaughtered. I don’t see how removing a few thousand gallons of milk from the situation helps them. If we need fewer milkers, more will go to the slaughterhouse.

• “And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can’t produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can’t even turn around.” ALL calves are removed from the mother immediately to preclude bonding (which would make the mother despondent). This also allows the calf to be more comfortable with other methods of feeding. As for the treatment of veal, I’m not sure I’m in agreement with this particular characterization; at the least, I find it biased. On the other hand, I don’t eat veal. Again, though, I don’t see how reducing milk consumption (slightly) helps this situation.

But let’s say all their anti-cruelty arguments held water. Breast milk? Are they whacked? According to this article, breast milk is $3/oz (vs. $0.03/oz cow’s milk or even $0.06/oz baby formula) or at least that’s what an adoptive mother paid for her baby. Say I need a thousand gallons a week and that whole sale prices are proportional to retail: that’s 100 times as much.

And breast milk doesn’t come pasteurized which is OK if you’re drinking from the source, but not so good going through production facilities, trucking, etc. (Pasteurization could readily kill many of the good things about breast milk, by the way). And breast milk isn’t all the same. You need healthy mothers, eating nutritiously, not taking drugs, not smoking, not diseased. Believe me, it will be a hell of a lot harder to ensure that people are healthy than cows. Cows don’t have privacy issues.

And breast milk doesn’t taste the same. They’ll have to adjust all their formulas. Nor do I think it would be good advertising (”Ben and Jerry’s, now with breast milk!”)

But, and I think this is important, if we’re going to have mothers pump extra breast milk, aren’t there some babies that could stand to have it? Which is better, feeding babies or adding a little zing to some grown-up’s ice cream? If I have to choose between the peace of mind of PETA folks and hungry babies, I won’t be deliberating long.

Really, if you really wanted to take cow’s milk out of the equation, why not choose soy milk? Breast milk? Are you kidding me?

You know, a lot of these fanatic fringe groups have seeds at the core that make sense and are perfectly reasonable. It’s easy to sympathize with “Don’t let animals be mistreated,” or “A belief in God can give you hope.” But some of the twisted messages that go out, I mean whacked nonsense that clearly isn’t sane, really, are enough to turn the stomach of the general populace.

Whatever you folks are smokin’, stop!

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